i don't do this very often and in fact it's rarely that i do.  I was listening to some older music last night on Youtube. One song in particular really caught my attention. You will recognize it as i mention the first line.  "My child arrived just the other day". Yes It's "cats in the Cradle."  It was Released on October 1, 1974. It started out as a poem written by Sandra Gaston  Chapin.

The poem was written in the first-person point of view. The father longtime Borough of Brooklyn (New York) president John Cashmore and his son James John Cashmore, the first husband of Sandra Chapin.  "My child arrived just the other day He came to the world in the usual way" nothing different than what happens today but what makes this a heart breaking song is its STILL true today as it was when the poem was originally written! and it doesn't have to be.

As the song goes on ", But there were planes to catch and bills to pay. He learned to walk while I was away. And he was talkin' 'fore I knew it, and as he grew." Its so sad to see children grow up like this.  in an absent parent home. No it is not just with absent fathers but mothers or even worse both.  And what we don't realize is that this is what the children will remember and will mimic in their lives as this is all they will know.  " He'd say "I'm gonna be like you, Dad.  You know I'm gonna be like you"  We either show our children how to succeed  or how to fail!

Even when we are at home its like we cannot give in to ourself  and allow us to have a relationship with our children even though this is what they are really wanting is to get to know us. Its like we are scared of the outcome.  Maybe we are afraid of them telling us that we are no longer their parent because of being replaced by tv,  the affection of some stranger down the road that gives our children the attention that to so desire, or maybe worse drugs abuse, alcohol  abuse sex and has a girl  pregnant or they are pregnant if a girl.

When we become an absent father in the home. He may start to realize this and an issue but by then the damage is already done. We try to repair our relationship with them by buying their love, baseball cards. a new bike, the newest toys and games systems, ect. in hopes that they will forget what has happened in the past so that we can continue our relationship breaking activities. 

For some of us we can break the mold of this activity early enough right after we see the hurt in out children's eyes. We see them suffering and don't  want that for our children so we work on changing our ways.  Although not easy we do it.  But for others its becomes like an addiction and that addiction has a strong old on them.  They can say that they want to change but the addiction of working long hard hours and the money that comes along with it becomes harder to break if they can. They need a wake up call but this is usually to late.  Maybe the child committed   is sitting in jail, suicide or overdosed on drugs and is in the hospital. Yes it's sad but the reality of it all this does happen way to often.

So how can we change this so it doesn't have to be the sad reality of our nation? What will it take to change hearts? Do we have to change job's because mine requires me to be gone for long hours or days on end? These are just some question that I thought of maybe you need to do some serious soul searching and look at your motives for working the long hours or having to be gone for days.  No i am not saying that you have to quite your job, but what i am saying is maybe there is something that you can do to change the situation at home.  

The final two verses reverse the roles. In the third verse, the son returns home from college and his father wants to spend some time with him. Instead, the son just wants to go out and asks the father for his car keys so he can do so. The fourth verse advances the story quite some time, as the father is long retired and his son has started his own family and no longer lives nearby. The father makes a phone call to his son and invites him for a visit, but the son has his own issues with his job and his children, who are sick with the flu. He tells his father he will visit him if he "can find the time" and says "it's been sure nice talking to you" before he says goodbye. The final two lines of the song reflect the father's observation of what has happened:

When you comin' home, Dad
I don't know when, but we'll get together then
You know we'll have a good time then

Please not let this be the way that we train our children up. Train them up knowing you, be there for them, help them.  This is how we can change this sad state of our nation.